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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28659438">today, tomorrow, and the rest of our future</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/slowburnsunsets/pseuds/kami'>kami (slowburnsunsets)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Super Dangan Ronpa 2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Afterlife, Gen, Komaeda Nagito's Birthday, Komaeda Nagito's Luck Cycle, Komaeda Nagito-centric, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, can be read as platonic or romantic komahina, i just want good things for komaeda, platonic komanami, post-dr3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 03:53:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,014</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28659438</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/slowburnsunsets/pseuds/kami</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s Komaeda’s birthday, and his luck cycle seems to strike again.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hinata Hajime &amp; Komaeda Nagito, Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Komaeda Nagito &amp; Nanami Chiaki</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>91</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>today, tomorrow, and the rest of our future</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i wrote this last year for komaeda’s birthday, but i never posted it here because for some reason im really self-conscious about this work? but rereading it now, it feels weird to leave it sitting in my drafts. so, yeah, it’s just self-indulgent, haha. sorry if anything doesn’t line up exactly? when i wrote this it had been a couple of months since the last time i’d gone through sdr2 or dr3.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Smooth. They move so smoothly, like liquid trailing down the edge of a leaf and raining onto the ground below with a solid plop. So smoothly, just as fluidly as water.</p><p>Komaeda wiggles his fingers slowly, staring as the light streams passed the blinds of his room and onto the dark metallic skin of his new mechanical arm. It feels strange, mostly because he can't feel it at all — and yet, it moves just like a real hand should.</p><p>One can argue he's just not used to the feeling of being able to move his left hand again, but he'd rather believe it's the rush of a newfound hope in the future they've created for themselves.</p><p>He's so caught up in observing the movements that he hardly even notices the door opening, Hinata poking his head inside. "Hey, Komaeda?"</p><p>He blinks, and the world comes back into focus as he turns to him. "Ah, Hinata-kun," he amuses.</p><p>"Are you busy?" Hinata is careful to avoid stepping in the room with his shoes on.</p><p>"I was looking at your creation." Komaeda holds up his left arm, each movement turning with mechanical shifts as he motions for him to enter. "It truly is a shining symbol of hope, but I should have expected that from you."</p><p>Hinata slips off his shoes and steps inside, taking a seat in the barrel chair across from Komaeda. "You mean your prosthetic? It really wasn't that hard to make."</p><p>"Of course not," Komaeda hums, "I'm sure it's an easy task for the Ultimate Hope, seeing as you possess the talents of the Ultimate Neurologist and Ultimate Mechanic."</p><p>"I guess, but anyway, I came here to talk to you," Hinata admits, sitting forward.</p><p>"Oh? You needed to talk to someone like me?" Komaeda asks.</p><p>Hinata sighs at his words, his eyebrows furrowing in disapproval. "Yeah, uh, I just wanted to see how you were adjusting. You know, to everything."</p><p>Komaeda lets out a carefree laugh. "Hinata-kun, caring as usual. I don't see why a symbol of hope such as yourself would give any care about how I'm doing, but if you really want to know, I'm doing fine. It's been months since we came to the island, after all."</p><p>The brunet raises an eyebrow. "I care because you’re important to me. Besides, I have to know. The Future Foundation wants to keep checking up on us."</p><p>"What remains of the Future Foundation, you mean," Komaeda corrects.</p><p>"God, you really don't have a filter, do you?" Hinata sighs, before slowly exhaling and letting out a short airy chuckle, ". . . but I guess that's not really your fault, huh?"</p><p>"I told you, Hinata-kun, what I said in the Monokuma Archive was a simple lie to gain your sympathy—" Hinata raises a hand as he interrupts Komaeda's words.</p><p>"You and I both know it wasn't a lie," he insists, "besides, you can't pull that on me again. You know that."</p><p>Another laugh. "Aha, I suppose your talents truly do allow you to see through me. As expected," Komaeda hums.</p><p>"There was one other thing I wanted to talk to you about," Hinata starts to say.</p><p>"Talk away. It would be the greatest pleasure for me to be a ste—" Hinata yet again interrupts Komaeda from his beginning ramble via a hand covering his mouth.</p><p>"I know it's your birthday," he admits, "and before you say anything, I know you're not really one to celebrate it. But I thought . . . I guess I just wanted you to celebrate it this year, you know, with everyone."</p><p>"Hinata-kun, I—"</p><p>"—We were planning on swimming at the beach to celebrate, and then after, we would have dinner in Hotel Mirai's dining room. We didn't tell you because we wanted it to be a surprise," Hinata explains.</p><p>"Swimming?" Komaeda repeats, or at least attempts to, though it comes out as a muffled noise against Hinata's hand just as before.</p><p>"Yeah," he explains, "so, do you want to go?"</p><p>"I'm not so sure it's a good idea," Komaeda says after Hinata removes his hand, "someone like me doesn't deserve for everyone to put effort into this. Plus, I'm afraid that the others aren't very fond of me, haha."</p><p>Hinata sighs. "Look . . . they don't hate you. You are their friend," he admits, "it's just . . . hard to understand you sometimes. It's still your birthday. You should be celebrating it."</p><p>"Well, it's a kind offer, Hinata-kun, but I have to decline," Komaeda tells him, "I think my company is better suited here, alone in my room, rather than with them."</p><p>Hinata frowns and rubs the bridge of his nose, shaking his head. He stays quiet, mentally debating with himself before giving into defeat. "Alright, if you insist. But if you change your mind, just let me know."</p><p>"Noted. But I'm sorry that trash like me wasted your time and your efforts. I know it's selfish of me to—" Komaeda starts to apologize.</p><p>Hinata is already moving to stand up and leave, but he lingers near Komaeda's chair as he interrupts him. "—And quit talking about yourself like that."</p><p>"But—"</p><p>"The only person who thinks you're not good enough is you," Hinata reminds, ". . . for what it's worth, I think you're fine just as you are." He glances over his shoulder as he leaves. ". . . Happy birthday, Komaeda." With that, he slips on his shoes and starts to exit the room.</p><p>". . . Hinata-kun?"</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"I'll go."</p><p>Hinata smiles slightly. "Then get ready. I'll meet you downstairs."</p><p> </p><p>━━━━━━</p><p> </p><p>Admittedly, the day feels the same as their first one in the Neo World Program. Though, it doesn't dissuade them from trying to enjoy it — at least this time, they know that there won't be any pastel or monochrome bears popping up and ruining it all (though 'ruining' is really just putting it lightly).</p><p>The real version of Jabberwock Island is just as beautiful as it had been described — crystal clear waters, clean sand, healthy plant life, and the nice resorts. Though, it did need a lot of repairing and maintaining from Class 77-B. But considering it kept its mostly phenomenal state even throughout the near end of the world, a bit of care-taking was fine by all means.</p><p>"Happy birthday, Komaeda-san! We hope you enjoy our festivities!"</p><p>"You hear that, Komaeda? Sonia-san put a lotta effort into this! You better thank he—"</p><p>"—Souda-san, please be quiet."</p><p>"If Nagito-chan wants, Ibuki-chan can play a song for his birthday!"</p><p>"Hey, Komaeda, you can join Old Man Nidai and me in a sparrin’ match later!"</p><p>"I think that'd kill Komaeda, Akane-chan . . ."</p><p>"I guess he is a little too thin for that, huh."</p><p>"Nagito-chan can play volleyball with us then! He's definitely tall enough for it!"</p><p>"Are you sure that's a good idea—?"</p><p>Hinata moves away from the few of them who have gathered in the water and opts to approach Komaeda, who's sitting on the beach along with some others, most of the conversations between them consisting of birthday wishes.</p><p>"Sorry about them," Hinata laughs out slightly, "I told them to be nice about today. It's much easier for a few of them, now that they have their memories back, but the others are still adjusting," He motions with his head towards the others. "They want you to join in a volleyball match."</p><p>"I don't think I'd be a very valuable asset when it comes to a physical sport," Komaeda denies with a sheepish chuckle.</p><p>"Come on, Komaeda," Hinata insists holding out his hand for him to take, "that day on the island, you're the one who said I should relax. It's your birthday today, so now it's your turn."</p><p>"If Hinata-kun insists . . ." Komaeda murmurs, taking Hinata's hand and pulling himself to his feet. He allows Hinata to guide him further into the water where some of the others are gathered, the water (depending on their heights) mostly reaching their torsos.</p><p>The water feels just as nice as their first day in the program too, he thinks, though, his thoughts on the scenery are cut short as he watches Nidai and Owari proceed to start fighting. A multitude of complaints about discipline coming from Imposter and Koizumi follow, a few more about wanting to start the game, and Komaeda hardly notices the large wave plowing towards them.</p><p>Hinata is focused on Kuzuryuu keeping Souda from losing his mind over Tanaka's close proximity to Sonia being on the same team. By the time he turns back around to face Komaeda, the rush of a surprised expression on his face isn't enough to warn him in time. "Watch out, Ko—!"</p><p>The massive wave slams into everyone, knocking them down under, much to the horror of their friends on land. Though the water level hadn't been that deep, more waves come slamming forward, pushing them down and around. Komaeda sees the shapes of his friends in the corners of his vision as the water thrashes him around.</p><p>A split second glance to his right allows him to see Hinata, who tries to reach for him. It's an unsuccessful attempt as Komaeda gets pushed away. Another heavy gush of water yanks him downwards, his body finally hitting against the ground. A flash of white sears into his vision upon the collision, and he finds himself seeing stars before everything fades out.</p><p> </p><p>━━━━━</p><p> </p><p>When Komaeda's eyes open, they're heavy. Blurring edges engulf his vision as he slowly sits up, rubbing the sight of phosphene from his eyes. When everything does settle into a clearer view, he realizes that no one else is around. Furthermore, he realizes he's not in the ocean, or even on the beach.</p><p>The ground below his feet is nothing but a white haze of fog, sifting around with each step he takes. A brick wall forms a square around him, and on each side is an arch that allows someone to enter the square at any angle. Lining the walls are patches of greenery, blossoming flowers occasionally poking through.</p><p>In the center of the square is a marble fountain, spitting out clear water down each shelf and into its lowest bowl. Komaeda can't help but stare at it, because admittedly, it's stunning.</p><p>It's a bark that catches his attention.</p><p>Komaeda's heart nearly drops in his chest when he turns around and sees a dog sitting underneath the arch. "Avos—?"</p><p>The dog —presumably Avos— barks again and wags his tail. He waddles over to Komaeda's legs, circling him and jumping around. Komaeda kneels down and runs his hand through Avos's hair. He could cry. He won't, but God, how is this happening?</p><p>"He's been waiting for you for a long time," someone says.</p><p>He glances up, and this time instead of his heart dropping in his chest, it feels like it just stops instead. Komaeda has always tried not to give it much thought, but now that he's twenty, it's all the more noticeable how similar he looks to his father — the faded sage in their eyes, the pale skin, the unruly white hair, all the same.</p><p>"Otousan?"</p><p>"It's been a while, Nagito," his father amuses, stepping forward, "your mother got held up, but she'll be here soon."</p><p>Komaeda glances at Avos, then at his father, and asks, ". . . Am I dead?"</p><p>His father chuckles. "Well, that would make sense, wouldn't it?"</p><p>"Presumably," Komaeda figures, "I'm—I'm sorry, but . . . I think I'd just want to be alo—"</p><p>"Nagito," another voice says.</p><p>"Okaasan?"</p><p>"It's just as your father said; it's certainly been a while," his mother adds. Komaeda notes in his head how much more he got from his father appearance-wise. It's not like he remembers them much anyway — not that he can either. "But we're not here for a family reunion."</p><p>"I wouldn't think so," Komaeda answers, "for trash like myself to ever get that opportunity, ah, how presumptuous of me to even consider so . . ."</p><p>His mother shakes her head. "Didn't that boy tell you to stop with that talk about yourself?"</p><p>"You know about Hinata-kun?"</p><p>"Give us a little more credit, Nagito. Of course we know," she sighs, "but, like I said, we're not here for a reunion. It's someone else waiting for you."</p><p>"Someone else?"</p><p>She nods. "Well, someone has to guide you through here," she says, "it may not seem like it, but even in the afterlife, there really is no rest. We've got things to do."</p><p>Komaeda only nods in response, watching as his mother starts to leave the square. His father stops her momentarily, whispering something to her, but it’s effortless as she eventually leaves. He sighs and turns back to his son.</p><p>"You know how your mother was," he says with a bitter laugh, "but she's right; we do have things to do. She shouldn't be too long, though. It's best you wait here."</p><p>"She?"</p><p>"You'll see," his father assures. He starts to step back as well, slowly but surely. "I've got to go."</p><p>"Otousan, wait—!" Komaeda calls out, hastily standing up and hurrying towards his father. He's quick to stop before him, hesitant and debating with himself, but eventually gives in. He slowly wraps his lanky arms around his father. "I'm sorry. It's selfish for someone like me to just hug you, but . . ."</p><p>His father sighs, and slowly pats his back. It's not really a returned hug, but in its own sense, it's enough. It nearly makes Komaeda laugh, because there was no real affection when they were still alive, but even so, it's always been his father to be more open. Just a bit.</p><p>When he pulls away, he doesn't really know how he should feel. The child in him wants to cry and call for his parents, regardless of their previous lackluster relationship, because aside from Hinata, who else is there really? Except he's spent so long burying that child in his mind, he doesn't think he even exists anymore. If he does, he can't remember him anymore.</p><p>His father doesn't say anything, only gives him another nod of his head before walking away again. Over his shoulder, he says, "It's been a rough ride, I know. But today's your day. Take care, Nagito."</p><p>Komaeda watches as his father disappears into the white and hazy void beyond the square. Avos brushes by his legs again, plopping down and wagging his tail. It's nice to have Avos, because seeing something have no idea to what's really going on and remain as innocent as ever is comforting — in an unhealthy way, maybe.</p><p>Komaeda sighs and sits back down, pulling the large dog closer and burying his face in Avos's coat. "I wonder if my luck follows me into death . . ." his voice is muffled, "ah, how unfortunate that would be . . . though, it makes perfect sense for my death to be today. It seems my luck has struck again."</p><p>"Your luck can't hurt you here," yet another person says. It's a soft, quiet melody of a voice — slurred and slow, like each word is chosen carefully. He knows that voice. He recognizes her.</p><p>"Nanami-san?"</p><p>"Hi, Komaeda-kun," she greets, "I have somewhere to go . . . but you can walk with me there."</p><p>He laughs quietly. "Of course it's you, Nanami-san. You were Class 77-B's shining symbol of hope . . . and its biggest despair."</p><p>Her smile falters slightly. "I guess I was."</p><p>"It's an honor, really," he starts to say, eyes staring off and movements becoming rhythmic, "it was your death that plunged everyone into despair, and yet, it was the stepping stone for us being able to find our hope."</p><p>Nanami chooses to stay quiet, watching him with a mix so wide of emotions —confusion, disconcertion, fear, understanding— it's nearly impossible to decipher what she's thinking.</p><p>"Hinata-kun told me," he tells her, "about everything. I doubt that someone like me even deserves to—"</p><p>"Hey . . . don't talk about yourself like that," she insists, "doesn't Hinata-kun get after you for that?"</p><p>Komaeda laughs softly. "Ah, you know about that too?"</p><p>She holds out her hand, and hesitantly, he takes it. "Of course I do," she says as she pulls him to his feet, "I think about everyone everyday . . . You were my classmates, my friends. I loved you all."</p><p>"You're a very kind soul, Nanami-san," Komaeda hums.</p><p>"You are, too," she replies. She starts to leave the square, Komaeda following beside her, and Avos trailing behind them. "You just . . . have a very different way of showing it."</p><p>"I'm afraid I don't agree," he chuckles.</p><p>"It's true. That day when the gym was blown up, that was you, wasn't it?" she asks.</p><p>"Oh, that. There was a bit of a mix-up, but yes, that was my good luck in action," he affirms.</p><p>"Yukizome-sensei said it was to push back our exams," Nanami admits, "she said that you had done that for us."</p><p>"It would have been terribly unfortunate if you all had to take the exams. No one was at their best at the time, after all. The loss of Kuzuryuu-kun's sister and Koizumi-san's friend was a terrible stroke of bad luck. How can pillars of hope do their best when they're wallowing in despair and not overcoming it?" he questions.</p><p>"See? You had good intentions," she says slowly, "you just . . . tend to take drastic measures."</p><p>At first, Komaeda doesn't know what to expect when they start to wander into the void. Possibly nothing. But it's soon proven wrong as objects start forming.</p><p>Almond blossom and jacaranda trees, all neatly tended to, grow healthily along the patches of well-kept grass. Snowdrops line the marble sidewalks and gates that make up the garden. Bushes and greenery house even more flowers, assuredly from the same assortment Komaeda saw growing in the square. He recognizes them from the few books he's read about flowers and gardening — buddleias, daffodils.</p><p>"My luck is what should take the credit," he hums, "if not for it, my plan was as good as nothing. It's the only redeemable quality of myself."</p><p>Nanami huffs, puffing her cheeks in dissatisfaction as she pinches his face dutifully (how high she has to raise her hand to do so only serves as a reminder to their extensive height difference). "You're plenty fine as you are."</p><p>Komaeda laughs. "You sound like Hinata-kun."</p><p>"Hinata-kun is right." She lets go and continues to walk through the forming garden. "You should listen to him when he says those things."</p><p>"I can't really anymore, now that I'm here. Besides, he was just trying to be polite," Komaeda insists, "you know how he is with people. He has a way with being considerate with them."</p><p>Nanami sighs. "He says those things because he cares about you, and he does understand you to an extent . . ."</p><p>"I doubt there'll be a day when we reach a complete understanding," he admits.</p><p>"Maybe . . . but it's still worth a try, don't you think?" she inquires, ". . . what was it that you said in the program? 'It's very brave to try and understand something you don't get'?"</p><p>"Even in the program, you could see us," he concludes, pausing for a moment as he processes the information, "ah, I see. As expected of you, Nanami-san. As for your question, I can't really say."</p><p>She thinks for a moment. ". . . Keeping to yourself, everyone avoiding you, and you pushing them away . . . It's lonely living life like that, isn't it?"</p><p>"I suppose so, yes."</p><p>Nanami's Mary Jane shoes click against the silver and gold bridge they're walking on that stretches across a gentle flowing river. A bridge she's walked over a thousand times, and she knows she'll walk over a thousand times more.</p><p>Her words are hard to get through Komaeda's beliefs, but she knows it's not impossible. She's seen it happen before. She knows she can do it. If there's anything she's always had going for her, it's her way with people. She just needs to figure out how to get through to him, how to get through to Komaeda Nagito before she runs out of time.</p><p>"A life of loneliness . . ." She shakes her head slowly. "That's a different type of despair . . . that's not living at all."</p><p>There's a lot of things Nanami Chiaki will never understand about him, about the tall boy who's all lanky arms and legs and as pale as the Grim Reaper that absolutely follows him around. There's a lot of things she'll never know about her friend, and vice versa.</p><p>The only thing she does know about Komaeda Nagito is that she can always count on his faith.</p><p>"Despair?"</p><p>Magic word.</p><p>"I get everyone's different . . ." her eyes slide to look upwards, where nothing but white clouds hover in a constant atmosphere of what feels like perpetually stuck rain. "Some people find happiness in that kind of life . . . and that's fine. But I know that's not the life you want."</p><p>"With all due respect, Nanami-san, I'm not a very big fan of crowded places or wild lifestyles," a chuckle escapes his lips.</p><p>"And you don't have to be . . . sometimes all that some people need is just a few close friends who get them," she tries to reason with him — she has to reason with him, before time runs out. When he opens his mouth to speak, she knows it'll start a tangent; she can see it in his eyes. So she covers his mouth with her hand and says, "I know you're going to say something . . . so just listen to me, please."</p><p>His eyes look around in protest before he nods. She inhales slowly, and prays to whatever entity can hear her that she knows what to say.</p><p>"It's not the type of despair you're probably thinking of . . . being alone, it's a different type of despair. I know how it feels . . . to feel alone," she starts, "and when you find people who get you and try to understand you . . . that becomes your hope. The hope that you can build a life with people who care about you and move forward . . . but you can't do that when you're alone . . ."</p><p>She removes her hand, and all he offers in words are: ". . . I'm afraid I don't follow."</p><p>"You've said it yourself . . . your self-righteous thoughts caused others to stay away, and when they didn't, you pushed them away," she explains, "have you ever let them try to understand you?"</p><p>He's hard to convince, but she can tell in the way he looks around that he's considering her words. It's not much, but it's progress. As long as the idea is planted in his thoughts, it's enough.</p><p>"Only Hinata-kun. But it's a futile attempt now," Komaeda dismisses, "now that I'm here, there's no way in doing so."</p><p>She doesn't say anything in response.<br/><br/></p><p>━━━━━</p><p> </p><p>They come to a stop after having crossed the bridge and reaching the sidewalk, Nanami guiding him to a little silver bench residing on the side of the pathway. Avos is quick to sit at their feet when they rest, resting his chin on Komaeda's leg. On the opposite side of the pathway lays the lake, decorated with nymphaea nelumbos.</p><p>She opts for a lighter subject, something he tends to stray away from unconsciously. "Avos is a good dog . . . he's very sweet with the children here."</p><p>"Yes, he always was good with them. I suppose that's why he took a liking to me; I was a child when I was given him," Komaeda admits, "just an instance of good luck."</p><p>"His name is suiting." She runs her fingers through Avos's coat of thick, light-colored fur, scratching him behind the ears.</p><p>"It's a bit macabre now, but I suppose so," he agrees.</p><p>She smiles slightly. "I think everything's a bit macabre here . . . It is the afterlife, after all."</p><p>"Even so, it's quite beautiful." His eyes wander over to the lake being fed through from the river they passed over earlier. "I never gave the afterlife much thought, much less wondered if it were as pretty as most people envisioned it."</p><p>"Neither did I until . . ." she trails off.</p><p>". . . Until your final moments?" he finishes, to which she slowly nods. "I never thought much of what happened afterwards. I was more so concerned about the dying itself."</p><p>"Dying?"</p><p>"Yes, how I would die, I mean," Komaeda adds, "I always assumed my sickness would take me, and that it would be only me in that moment, but . . ."</p><p>"But?"</p><p>His smile is so calm, Nanami thinks, far too calm for someone who most definitely should be sad. "I've been thinking about what you said earlier."</p><p>"You have?"</p><p>"Yes, you were right. It does seem quite lonely to live alone, much less die alone and without someone's love." He stares off, deep in thought.</p><p>
  <em>There, Chiaki, you've got one chance. Come on . . .</em>
</p><p>Nanami places a hand on his shoulder. "I can imagine. But . . . that won't be the case for you, Komaeda-kun. You are indeed loved." He chuckles in disbelief, but before he can start off on another self-deprecating tangent, she continues, "it may not seem like it . . . and you may not think you deserve it, but . . . I believe everyone wants to find that in life."</p><p>"To find love?"</p><p>"To find happiness." Her voice is soft again as she focuses her gaze on Avos, her other hand still petting him. "In some people's cases, love <em>is</em> their happiness . . . I think everyone deserves that . . . Even you. But you've got to promise me something."</p><p>"Nanami-san wants scum like me to promise her something?" He seems almost happy at the thought of being useful to some degree.</p><p>"That . . . I need you to promise me that you're going to listen to Hinata-kun about those habits. And don't put everyone on pedestal. You're not any lower than them, and your luck is not your fault . . . I know it's not that easy . . . but try, please?"</p><p>"But why—"</p><p>"Because you're not scum or trash, Komaeda-kun . . . you're a good person at heart. That's what I believe. That's my hope, for you and everyone to find your own happiness, because everyone deserves that chance."</p><p>Komaeda thinks about it. He really does. Because if he had heard that months ago, he might've possibly rejected the idea as a whole. After all, in his own experience, there's been no genuine meaning to life at all, and even more so, it's always been his fault.</p><p>Getting and losing, taking and giving, everything good he's ever had was always destined to slip from his fingers. Everything that crosses paths with him, every burst of light and chance of happiness gets buried beneath the weight of their inevitable fates because of his mere existence and its linked talent — there's no point in prolonging the end, is there? There's no point in a lifetime of being thrown around back and forth by something forever chained to you regardless of whether you accept it as a part of yourself or not. Being pushed by the good and pulled by the bad, tossed around like collateral damage to luck itself.</p><p>It's a really, really cruel fate.</p><p>And because it's so cruel, it's easier not to think about it. It's easier to float through life, taking and giving, getting and losing, prolonging inevitable ends. It's easier to hold onto the one part of it all you can count on. And after so long of that, no matter how distorted it may become, no matter how twisted and stretched the side of hope is turned, it's all you've got left.</p><p>And yet, despite a lifetime of experiencing the worst of the best and all in between, the past few months have been extraordinary. He thinks about the killing game, about his subconscious's world, about returning to the island, about every instance of good luck and bad luck he's ever had —he thinks about moving forward when he took Hinata's hand after waking up.</p><p>"Even beyond death itself, you still remain one of the brightest hopes I've ever seen shine," he tells her. It's not clear, because things are never absolutely clear when it comes to him, but Nanami gets that it's a promise nonetheless.</p><p>"Thank you . . . I think." She stands up. "Come on . . ."</p><p>He follows behind her. "Where are we going?"</p><p>"I've got somewhere I need to go . . . but there's someone else waiting for you," she explains.</p><p>"Waiting for me?"</p><p>"You'll see."</p><p>The rest of the walk is a mix of off-handed comments and small talk of their times at Hope's Peak Academy, a rhythmic friendship forming in placement of something that didn't really exist during their lifetimes. It's strange. Very, very strange. But it feels nice to have a friend, Komaeda thinks, so he continues their conversations with his own personal views and listens to her agreements and protests.</p><p>It's not until later, after they've been walking through the garden for so long, that Nanami stops at the archway of another wall around the garden, where the rest beyond it has yet to form.</p><p>"Is something wrong?" he inquires.</p><p>She shakes her head. "It's been nice talking with you, Komaeda-kun . . . I wish we had more time."</p><p>"More time?" he repeats.</p><p>"Did your parents not tell you?" she tilts her head in confusion, "you're not dead . . . well, you are, but not dead forever."</p><p>"But . . . this was a result of my bad luck, wasn't it?" Komaeda questions.</p><p>"I don't know about your luck," she elaborates, "but that's who we're taking you to — to the person who'll bring you back. I know you aren't supposed to be here. It's not your time yet."</p><p>He laughs. "That's strange. I've spent so long on the verge of it, and yet others like you are here."</p><p>"I've made peace with it," she assures, "seeing everyone now makes me happy . . . I'm glad that you all have each other, and that you're moving forward."</p><p>"Inspirational as ever, Nanami-san." He glances over at the unformed land, "I'm assuming that the person waiting to take me back is past here?"</p><p>She nods. "Tell everyone I miss them."</p><p>He chuckles. "I certainly will, but I'm not sure they'd believe me."</p><p>Nanami gives him a short hug. "They will . . . you may not be able to see me anymore, but I promise I'll always be with you guys." She pokes his arm. "And I better not see you here so soon again."</p><p>He can't help but laugh.</p><p>"I mean it!" she insists, "you've got a lot more time so . . . so make the most of it. Don't forget what I told you."</p><p>He gives her one last carefree smile with a nod. "It's been more than a pleasure to get to talk to you. Goodbye, Nanami-san."</p><p>Just as he's starting to walk into the white void, she calls out, "Happy birthday, Komaeda-kun."</p><p>When he looks back over his shoulder, it's the first time in their entire encounter that her smile is as big as it had been when she was alive. And so, he waves goodbye, disappearing into the mist, Avos still at his side.</p><p>After so long of walking into nothing, Komaeda starts to think that there's no one waiting for him. Perhaps Nanami was wrong? But she made it very clear . . .</p><p>"Komaeda," a voice interrupts his thoughts, "aren't you coming?"</p><p>He turns around, and of course, it's Hinata.</p><p>"Hinata-kun! Are you dead as well?" Komaeda questions in a tone that says 'I'm-way-too-cheery-to-be-asking-if-you're-dead.' "Did you drown too?"</p><p>"Well," Hinata rubs the back of his neck, "not really, no. I'm Hinata Hajime, but I'm not your Hinata, if that makes any sense."</p><p>Komaeda blinks in surprise. "You mean like the World Destroyer?"</p><p>"More or less. That was really Kamukura." Hinata(?) gestures halfway with his hand. "It's pretty hard to explain."</p><p>"Regardless of whatever your methods may be, I'm sure they're flawless." Komaeda clasps his hands together.</p><p>Hinata(?) glances over at Avos, who's still lingering by Komaeda's side. "Is this your dog?"</p><p>"Ah, yes," Komaeda hums, "this is Avos. Avos, meet Hinata-kun . . . ?" He's still not entirely sure about this all.</p><p>Hinata crouches down, and Avos seems to immediately take a liking to him. Hinata runs his hand through Avos's thick, light-colored fur coat, smiling back at the dog as he wags his tail and licks his hand. "Introductions are always a little embarrassing to me," Hinata admits, patting him one more time before standing back up.</p><p>Komaeda airily laughs before crouching down. "Good boy, Avos. But I've got to go now. Until we meet again one day, okay?" He gives Avos one last hug and God, he forgot how nice it felt to hug him. Admittedly, it felt even better as a kid, because Avos was nearly bigger than his entire body and it was like hugging a massive stuffed animal, but that's beside the point. "Stay, and go find Nanami-san," Komaeda whispers into the dog's ear before standing up.</p><p>"Come on." Hinata(?) holds out his hand toward Komaeda. "You can't move forward if you're stuck here."</p><p>"No, I suppose you can't."</p><p>He takes Hinata's (is it more accurate to refer to him as Kamukura-kun? Or is it truly just a different Hinata-kun? Komaeda really has no idea) hand in his own. Hinata starts to lead him into the void again, except the fog grows thicker and brighter the further they walk.</p><p>"You think the real Hinata-kun would have liked Avos?" Komaeda asks curiously.</p><p>"Probably."</p><p>"It's a shame he won't be able to meet him."</p><p>"Yeah, but never say never," Hinata(?) tells him, "maybe there's a dog in need of an owner back in the real world."</p><p>"You think so?"</p><p>Hinata(?) shrugs, still pulling him along. "Who knows?"</p><p>Komaeda smiles. He doesn't need to look back to know that Avos is still wagging his tail and waiting for them to leave his line of sight.</p><p>Komaeda doesn't need to look back at all.</p><p> </p><p>━━━━━</p><p> </p><p>"Komaeda? Komaeda?"</p><p>"Mikan-chan! Is he okay?"</p><p>"U-Um, w-well—"</p><p>"He's totally gonna dieeeee!"</p><p>"How ironic is this fate, to meet death on one's own birthd—"</p><p>"Can it, Hot Topic!"</p><p>"Komaeda? Komaeda?"</p><p>It burns. And more than anything, it's so bright. His vision blurs to nothing but shaky edges and distorted blobs, and the searing sensation scrapes at the inside of his lungs and throat until he coughs. </p><p>"He's alive!"</p><p>Komaeda feels like he could gag out his very insides from how much the saltwater stings as he clings to the air to try and breathe. His hands are trembling as he wipes away the tears forming in his eyes because damn it, it hurts.</p><p>"Komaeda? Can you hear me?" Hinata asks.</p><p>"Hinata-kun? Is that you? The real Hinata-kun and not the double-not-Kamukura-kun?" Komaeda's vision starts to form, allowing him to see Hinata sitting beside him, and on the other side is Tsumiki.</p><p>"Great, he's crazy."</p><p>"A.K.A. nothing changed."</p><p>"He's alright, guys!" Hinata cheers, looking up at everyone crowded around.</p><p>There's more talking and a few cheers, but Komaeda hardly hears any of it as Hinata pulls him to his feet. He wobbles a bit, but stands as both Hinata and Tsumiki check him for any further injuries.</p><p>"I thought Nagito-chan was a total goner!"</p><p>"Maybe Old Man Nidai and I should give Komaeda some swimmin’ lessons."</p><p>"Why wasn't anyone watching? Shouldn't you be a little bit more respo—"</p><p>Everyone's chatter is interrupted again by Komaeda's laughter, which thankfully, isn't the usual raspy and uncontrollable chortle, instead settling for a softer tone.</p><p>"Komaeda?"</p><p>"Ah, I'm sorry," Komaeda lowers his laughter to a smile, "it's just that my luck seems to have ruined the day . . . I didn't mean to bother you all with worrying over someone like me."</p><p>Komaeda lets out a whine when Koizumi pinches his arm. "Geez, Hinata is <em>supposed</em> to get after you for that."</p><p>"But I <em>do</em>—"</p><p>He snaps his fingers as he recalls his promise. "Ah, that's right. My promise to Nanami-san."</p><p>"To Chiaki-chan?"</p><p>"She had made me promise to work on those habits," he answers slowly, "oh, and she says she misses you all."</p><p>There are a few confused expressions and a couple of huh's said, but Souda is the first to break the not-so-silent silence. "Man, you're weird."</p><p>"Damn right he is," Kuzuryuu speaks up. Pekoyama lingers by his side. "But we're glad you're alright."</p><p>Komaeda's face scrunches in confusion, tilting his head slightly. "You are?"</p><p>"I mean, yeah." Souda scratches his cheek as he talks. "You're really strange, but . . . Sonia-san approves of you, so . . ."</p><p>Koizumi murmurs some form of complaint under her breath before she speaks up. "What he's trying to say is that you're a little . . . odd, Komaeda, but we wouldn't wish <em>death</em> upon you."</p><p>"Duhhh," Mioda affirms, "Nagito-chan is our friend! A totally weird one, but our friend!"</p><p>The absolute level of surprise that washes over Komaeda's face as he listens to them astonishes Hinata. "I am?" Komaeda asks.</p><p>"Komaeda-san's the one who taught me how to play <em>Go</em>!" Sonia beams.</p><p>"He's also the one who helped us clean up the hotel once we arrived here," Koizumi adds, "like a stay-at-home dad."</p><p>"Or a housewife," Hinata adds with a smile, and it reminds Komaeda of their first few days in the Neo World Program.</p><p>"K-Komaeda-san h-helped me . . . s-set up t-the infirmary . . ." Tsumiki meekly offers, giving a small smile.</p><p>"He has allowed me to borrow a multitude of his books these past few months," Imposter offhandedly comments.</p><p>"You're our classmate . . ." Mitarai says. Komaeda catches the significance of those words coming from Mitarai.</p><p>"Point and case, you didn't 'ruin' anything. It's your birthday, and we're just glad you're okay," Hinata tells him.</p><p>The edges of Komaeda's lips tug upwards, and the same sensation, the same euphoria he felt when he first woke up and watched the doors open fills his chest. It feels like his entire body is bursting with hope (that's what this is, right? At least, he thinks that's what this feeling is. Hygge . . . he read about that word once), and the small bouts of laughter that spill from his mouth are gentle. Nanami, he thinks, is right — it's a little less lonely living like this.</p><p>It feels nice.</p><p>"Well, this has been a fiasco, hm? And as much as I enjoy seeing everyone's lovely swimwear, my prepared food is getting cold," Hanamura warns them.</p><p>"After all of this, I think it's best we eat."</p><p>"Ha? Eat? Then what are we waiting for? C'mon, I'm starving!"</p><p>"Alright, alright, just wait, Akane-chan. It's still Komaeda's birthday. We need to commemorate it. Come on, everyone, gather around. And smile; I don't take photos of sad people."</p><p> </p><p>━━━━━</p><p> </p><p>The water foams as it hits against the eroding beach, the ground dampened and darkened. The waves in the distance are gentle, sludging around with bursts of citrus and marigold reflecting off beyond the honey-like haze that the sunset casts. The sand squishes beneath Komaeda's feet, water passing over his ankles on occasion, and he struggles to keep strands of his hair out of his face as the breeze pushes the back end of his jacket.</p><p>"Komaeda? You gonna come eat with us?"</p><p>"Ah, Hinata-kun again. Yes, I am. I was just thinking a bit, clearing my head before I went with you guys." The light from the sun almost makes Komaeda's hair look blonde, just a bit.</p><p>"You've been thinking a lot these past few months." With Hinata standing beside him, the breeze can't reach him as well anymore. "Sometimes I'm scared to ask what you're thinking of." A chuckle. "It's pretty embarrassing, isn't it? I can go against finding out the truth about the Remnants of Despair and yet I'm scared of someone I don't understand."</p><p>It feels like every conversation they have reverts to the same topic, same little dance they do every time — one pushing and the other pulling, except always in opposite directions. And no matter how long their dance lasts, be it for minutes or hours, they always seem to land in the same place they started in.</p><p>It's always the same—</p><p>"I doubt it's from you being a coward. I think you're very brave for it. But me, I'm . . ."</p><p>— until it isn't, and one of them decides they're tired of the same song.</p><p>". . . 'I'm'?"</p><p>He wonders if Nanami can see him, wonders if she's listening. He wants her to hear, wants her to see, wants her to know that he's a person of his word.</p><p>"What? Did I say something wrong?"</p><p>Wants her to know that today wasn't bad luck at all.</p><p>"No, it's just, you didn't . . . you didn't degrade yourself."</p><p>'<em>That's my hope, for you and everyone to find happiness</em>.'</p><p>"Does Hinata-kun want me to belittle myself? I was under the impression that you wanted me to stop . . . you're very strange, Hinata-kun, you know that? They say I'm odd, but it's you whose mindset I worry about." Komaeda's laugh sounds as light as the first day on the island.</p><p>"No, no . . . Komaeda, I—" a bit of airy laughter, "it's great. I just didn't think you'd switch so easily."</p><p>"Ah, well . . . to say I've 'switched' is a bit of a lie."</p><p><em>'I know it's not that easy . . . but, try please?</em>'</p><p>"It's still progress. That's . . . that's what matters, alright? We've all got things to work on." Komaeda could laugh at his words, because 'things' means years of sins to atone for, and yet it sounds so simple. But he supposes that's Hinata for you. "And we're going to work on them together."</p><p>He wonders how many times he'll get to celebrate his birthday after this — whether it be his last one or his first in a long time, he really doesn't know. Maybe his illness will eventually take him, or his luck will take everything else. Or maybe Hinata's newfound talents will counteract his (mis)fortune, or find a cure. He doesn't know, but that doesn't really matter right now, he supposes . . .</p><p>". . . you zoning out again. Komaeda? Hello? Come on, I'm not <em>that</em> boring anymore," Hinata calls out, "you haven't even seen your present yet. Come on, can you hear me?"</p><p>The only thing that does matter right now—</p><p>Komaeda laughs as Hinata guides them away from the edge of the beach and towards the hotel with everyone else to eat and unveil this supposed present. "Clearly. Let's go."</p><p>—is that it's still his birthday, and by the look in both Hinata and the others' eyes, it's his first in a future of many more.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>+ hinata making komaeda’s prosthetic is just a headcanon of mine, seeing as he has the talents of the ultimate neurologist and the ultimate mechanic, haha.</p><p>+ “avos” means blind trust in luck.</p><p>+ nymphaea nelumbos, jacarandas, daffodils, and buddleias represent rebirth &amp; new beginnings // almond blossoms &amp; snowdrops represent hope.</p><p>when i finished writing this last year, i attached a small note to the end of it for komaeda’s birthday:</p><p>komaeda, you may be a fictional character but i seriously adore you. you mean the absolute world to me, and you were the first fictional character i ever really found comfort in and genuinely loved immensely. i hope your luck keeps you alive long enough to live a good and happy life with your friends on the island. you deserve it. happy birthday, komaeda. (4.28.20)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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